I just thought I'd share what's been really eating away at me today after browsing across it on a dating site last night. Note, this post has more to do with my triggered feelings regarding a situation rather than reason (in other words, I know it's irrational).
Question: "Would you date someone who has never been in any kind of relationship before?"
Answer: "No. At this point I'll probably assume there's something very wrong with you. Not only that but you have no experience to draw from so it would be pretty much not worth my time."
My Triggered Response:
Thank you, there is something wrong with me & thank you for making me feel more broken than normal. I really appreciate the constant feeling of wanting to vomit that I've been experiencing all day so far. Perhaps I'll just not even eat for a couple of days. Maybe I should just lie on my floor & do nothing today.
Now, this person is coming from a place that I can understand (which triggers me even more). They also have the right to want to date whoever they want (heck, I have ridiculous standards myself). Please realize though that I feel irrationally panicked by this & I want to express how triggered my emotions are at this moment. My thoughts can become distorted & I can feel a sense of desperation or "fight or flight" at times. Writing about this is helping me calm down & I obviously cannot allow something as minor as this to get in the way of my productivity. It's just that when I'm triggered by something like this it becomes massive. Unbelievably huge & I can't see anything but it.
I feel that what I'm doing right now is the perfect thing to do. Reflect on the experience, write about it, & share it hoping that others can find value or relate to it. I feel SO amazingly relieved already.
This is the perfect time for me to also bring out my list of positive ways to look at things. I recommend checking out the video, it's only a minute & a half.
I love being open & honest with all of you online. It's keeping me sane & it helps me feel stronger in that there are people who support all that I am!
I've been using Okcupid the most.
Since I haven't been putting up too many videos in my inspirational series about mental disabilities this month I think I'll be making more blog posts. I'll have a lot more coming up regarding my experiences on the dating site.
If you'd like to help support me, my family, & projects you can become a patron to my work over on Patreon. I'm trying to be able to support myself & continue to produce my projects. Any support means the world to me. I literally dance in a circle & run to tell my parents with every pledge that I receive.